Holy Crap, It’s a Pedestrian! Kill it!!!

I was walking from work to the train station last night, when my street-crossing became slightly more complex. A ute was parked on the street. In the middle of the lane. Its lights were on, its driver was in his or her seat… they were just parked there, waiting. For something. Me being the paranoid bint I am, I decided that it was waiting to run me over. I’m not the fatalistic type, but something about my day at work caused me to shrug and step out onto the street. And the ute started up, and drove straight at me. Sigh.

Obviously, it didn’t hit me. Stuff that for a joke. I’ve had so much practice on Brisbane’s streets that I can probably dodge traffic in my sleep. Not that I’ve tried… I think.

Anyhow, I was meandering down the marginally-safer footpath and pondering the general Brisbane attitude to pedestrians – those unlucky souls who, whether by moral decision or economic necessity or lack of stomach for hour-long traffic delays and psychotic parking-space-seekers, happen to be travelling on foot. And I realised something.

Brisbane hates pedestrians.

Brisbane hates pedestrians with a passion.

Think I’m suffering post-almost-runover-stress-disorder? Pffffft to you too.

Look at this standard intersection:

Pedestrians can cross, with the lights, each way. Fair enough. That varies a bit in many places – only three crossings, whatever.

Now look at a standard Brisbane intersection:

Pedestrians have to cross a ‘left turn any time with care’ lane with NO signals, NO pedestrian crossing, just… a keen eye, quick feet and even faster wits.

See? Brisbane hates pedestrians.

I’m not sure whether it’s a hatred of greenies and hippies (historically likely – thanks Joh!), or a desire to increase the socio-economic status of the city through a ’shoot-the-horse’ kinda process, or a simple recognition of the basic human desire to run down anything that it’s too hard or too illegal to shoot.

Come to think of it, maybe all of the above.