Gnashing of Teeth

Do you ever feel really, really peeved… know it’s unfair to feel peeved… and still wanna wring someone’s neck?

I’m tired, and I’m grouchy (well DUH).

I went to cardiac rehab this morning, and exercised for 40 minutes while Bubba Boy charmed the whole bloody gym full of people. Then I went through an exit interview, in which we determined that I’m just as flabby and actually more depressed than when I started. Great. Once we left, he turned into Blubba Boy. Sigh. Finally, people stopped giving me “Errr, your baby’s CRYING!” looks because he fell asleep. Hallelujah. I went home. I set up an arty project for Bubba Boy which involved thickened beetroot juice, newspaper and fingerpainting. Pink goop everywhere. It was fun. After the bath, Bubba Boy got grouchy. Wouldn’t eat. Wouldn’t watch TV. Wouldn’t sit on my lap. Wouldn’t sit on the floor. Wouldn’t do anything. Playing with him just caused him to yell at me. Right. Fine. Bed. He shut up and went to sleep.

Hubby called. He’s finished his doctor’s appointment and has gone into the city to shop. BLOODY HELL. He just had 2 bloody days away from Bubba Boy, no work, just one TAFE orientation thing. Organised by me so that he’d get a break. I’ve just had the day from hell. AND HE WENT SHOPPING. Why couldn’t he come home and let me go shopping, dammit?

Like I said, I know I’m being unfair. He works hard, and the last few months have been rough on him. But I’m bloody exhausted. I stayed home from work yesterday because I was SICK, not to get some time off. If I’m not working, I’m looking after Bubba Boy or helping look after Bubba Boy. All I do with any day off that I get is sleep, dammit. And right this instant, it’s all getting to me something chronic. Knowing that I’ll wake up tomorrow and wonder what on earth I was whingeing about doesn’t help. Because right this instant, life really sucks, and my husband’s having baby-free fun, and I’m not.

Growl.

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2 Responses

  1. huge hugs. I know it’s frustrating.

  2. […] – Overgrown children! I was inspired to write this by reading Naomi’s “Gnashing of Teeth”  and Widdleshamrock’s “Note to self: stop feeling […]

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