For decades I’ve been looking for a definition of ‘feminine’ that doesn’t:

  1. Demean women
  2. Force women into a false mold
  3. Contain more flaws than strengths (see 1)
  4. Contain characteristics which men commonly have too

And you know, I’ve never found one. Except for the bleeding obvious physical differences, and relatively minor hormonal urges. Women are more likely to seek children. Men are more likely to behave with irrational aggression.

I’m still looking. Mostly, I think, because society is SO DAMN SURE that there are major, inherent differences between the genders. So I can’t help but try to keep an open mind – and more, even search for this mythical law of femininity. But I can’t help doubting that it exists. After all, once upon a time people didn’t seem to worry about such things. Men did the stuff that women sometimes couldn’t (due to pregnancy, less muscle etc), women did anything else, looked after the babies and put the kids to work with her when they were young, with dad when they could handle it. It seems that it was only after the Industrial Revolution when brute muscle got a lot less important that people started worrying about differences in the genders… because otherwise men might start doing traditional women’s work, and vice versa! *swoooon* And God forbid that society should change. It’s in the bible – “And all shalt be as it was in the day of thy grandfathers, or a great plague shall come among thee…” (from the Book of Fart-Assing Around). Of course, technological advances are mostly OK, as long as it’s something that Grandpa would’ve wanted.


7 Responses

  1. To me, it’s embracing my own strengths and qualities (quirks lol) instead of striving to be something I’m not.

  2. And I know that doesn’t sound like anything to do with the topic at hand, as that is something that both sexes should aspire to, but it does. Some of my natural bents would be considered quite girly, some not so, but it’s embracing those “girly” things without apology, while not letting being “girly” on one level stop me from doing other things. Like putting on perfume and going to the fire station. lol

    I don’t think we have to fit a ‘mould’, I think it’s more about letting our so called inner beauty shine out.

  3. and I probably still don’t make a lot of sense with that last remark but my brain is a little addled right now lol

  4. Oh gawd, I could go into a full bent rant here.

    The Book of Fart-Assing Around… that’s brilliant.

    Feminine, what is it?

    For me, it’s being what you want to be, while still being a woman. Egads, don’t worry, Bettina. I’m not making much sense here, either.

    I don’t wear girly shoes, and I’m not fond of reading Barbara Cartland pulp, um… novels. Although I still consider myself ‘feminine’

    We’ve been worked over, as women.

    The patriarchy has us labelled as nothing more than baby producers, but the hard-core feminists have done us no favours, either.

    To the militant types in the feminist movement, apparently we are selling out if we want to be nurturers and stay at home with our babies.

    We can’t bloodywell win.

    Feminine, what is it?

    Inner beauty, the essence of what we are, I don’t know.

    There you go, Bettina. I rambled far worse than you did.

  5. Good luck with your mission cause I am sure that there is not a definition about there for feminine that fits your criteria. Maybe one day when women take over the world, we will be able to have one written.

  6. Hearing ya Sister!

    (PS. Still got to do the “Blog Bing” thingy. Will get to it promise!

  7. See, it’s really, really hard to define without saying stuff that’s equally applicable to either gender… 😀

    On the bright side, I think these ARE the important things in life… being true to yourself, working on an inner beauty, etc.

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