I’m Trying for Saintly…

… but I’m stuck on ‘Her Bark is Worse than Her Bite, But Damn Her Bark’s Bad’ 😀

I was reminded (yet again) of this fact when reading Little Men. In it, the Jo from Little Women that I grew up admiring and identifying is portrayed as… well, saintly. Earthy saintly, but still! In one sense, it’s well done, because kids often do view parental figures in that black and white kinda way. In another, more personal sense, it sucks. Because I grew up assuming I’d grow up to be a bit like Jo too… a published writer with a houseful of kids, most of them other people’s. I doubt that my dream was fashioned from the book (that sounds FAR too sad), but I think my concept of its reality might’ve been.

It occurred to me yet again that it’ll be years or decades till I’m at a point in my spiritual growth where I can consistently show love, patience and empathy to a large crowd of kids. With no public meltdowns. Heck, I can’t even manage it with my own two. And that saddens me. I think I’m more sad for the kids who need love that I can’t give than for me and my dream.

*shrug* I guess at its heart, this is a clear case for letting God guide, rather than plunging in to what I think I should be doing.

Hmmm… maybe this is another example of divine intervention… some of my keyboard is on strike. I can’t dash, or delete, add or equal. I can’t underline, and most of my cutting and pasting is slowed by my left control key being unresponsive. All my letters are still with me, but five and six are gone. Thank God I still have my basic punctuation. If you don’t see me tomorrow, assume that I’m stuck in stream of consciousness hell. Damn, I can’t use dashes!!!!


2 Responses

  1. My laptop keyboard isn’t on strike but I am missing the letters (worn off) and I am a terrible touch typist. I would have bought a new one if I were you $8 at H arvey N orman got me a good one (not for the laptop though – I suffer it barely as have to sue it to log into tax office site)

    I had dreams like you … lots of feral kids nobody loved but alas I too, can’t mange the feral beast my teen has turned into and I don’t like some of his friends , the lazy nephews , the antics of some neighbouring kids and gasp even my own twins can drive me up the wall (hourly).

  2. Yeah, I’ve been avoiding it because we’ve got what was once a whizz bang keyboard with a touchpad in the middle, and we don’t have a desk set up for the computer atm, which means using a mouse would be irritatingly difficult… and buying a standard kb would necessitate buying a mouse. Grrr. So we need a desk, and a keyboard, and a mouse. Or a $200 keyboard with builtin touchpad.

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