Christians, Newlyweds and Sex

While I was running the Christian Women Blogzine (now defunct) – and ever since I wrote a post on here about what to buy a friend of mine who’s getting married soon – I’ve noticed that a lot of people are searching for basic information about sex. So I thought I’d compile some of the basic advice along these lines that I tend to give to young couples who’re getting married. It’ll mostly apply to couples where one or both partners are young, or virgins. But it won’t hurt to give it a quick read-through just in case.

Know Thyself

First, you need to know a bit about yourself and your anatomy. Go to Wikipedia and read up on your sexual organs so that you know where things are and what does what. Find a hand mirror, and take a look at your own sexual organs.

Know Your Partner

It’s not necessary to check out your partner’s sexual organs. But at least read up on Wikipedia about their sexual organs, too.

Find a Manual

See if you can find a book in your local bookstore (many christian bookstores do stock this sort of thing) which has some information on basic sexual techniques for you to try on your wedding night.

Test the Equipment

Work out what feels good, and what doesn’t. Successful masturbation isn’t really what we’re after here… more a knowledge of how you might enjoy being touched. If you’re female, please do this next bit, OK? Check your vaginal muscles. If you can put in a tampon with no hassles, you should be fine. A lot of women skip this step, and some find their first few months of marriage difficult as a result. If the muscles of your vagina are tight and don’t stretch easily, sex will be painful. Like any muscle, though, the vagina can be taught to relax and stretch. It’s important to note that it’s primarily virgins who have this trouble, but they’re not the only ones.

Have Fun

Your wedding night is primarily about enjoying each other. So do it! Don’t take things too seriously, have some fun, and be kind to each other.

Further Reading

Wikipedia article on the human reproductive system

Getting Your Sex Life Off to a Great Start

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6 Responses

  1. Some great info there. A well thought out guide.

  2. very great info – my newly married christian friend referred or gave me a Christian book – I think called Intended for pleasure (I just remembered the name) and I got some tapes Christian pre marriage sex series …that my future hub and i listened to together – he left them lying around .

    My MIL found them – she learnt a few things and she had been married 25 yrs – divorced at the time … she then passed them on to her daughters my married SIL’s (both been married 3-4 yrs) …I neev rasked what they thought.
    I won’t tell you how MIL tried to tell me about her 3 – O’s (in entire married life) and give me sex advice *snigger and OMG – even my own mother didn’t go there.

  3. Thanks Marita 🙂

    Trish – I haven’t read Intended for Pleasure. But it’s good to see there are a few good ones out there now. When I got married a few years ago. Getting Your Sex Life Off to a Great Start was the only one I could find in the bookstore that didn’t a) just cover the extreme basics (this is what a penis looks like, etc – I was a bit beyond that!) or b) come out with irritating generalities about men and women.

  4. That’s great advice.

  5. A Celebration of Sex for Newlyweds is a good one. I’ve tucked that into many a wedding gift basket.

    Great article!

  6. Anja – ta, gorgeous 🙂

    SW – you found me! Good to see you again.

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