The Bogan Within

I’ve become convinced that somewhere deep inside me there’s a bogan screaming (shrilly) to get out. I mean, it makes sense. Why the hell else would I live in Ipswich?

You might already know that I have a love/hate relationship with Brisbane. I have a similar relationship with Ipswich – except without so much of the love. The abusive screaming drug-muddled teens on the trains are sort of endearing, and the mothers holding screaming matches with their offspring in the supermarkets while their trackies slowly slide down their arses make me wish for more little blessings of my own… but Ipswich does have its down sides. Like the fact that parts of it really are holes. And whenever I manage to convince myself that this is actually a nice little place to live, the same wench always – ALWAYS – shows up and bursts my bubble. And the cigarette smoke comes pouring into my ex-bubble space as she shrieks at her kids as they bang on the bus shelter and practise dive-bombs on the concrete.

But I’ve decided that it’s MY responsibility to work on this relationship. How? By embracing the bogan within.

First step: Buy myself a flannie:

(must be worn open, over something old and torn)

Second step: Get me a pair of these babies – the ones that MBT‘s been raving about:

All I’ll need then is a souped-up Kia.

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14 Responses

  1. *slaps head with hand*

    I’ve been meaning to ask if your backyard is a dirty big hole. Damn, Ippy is sinking.

    Lovin’ the flannie. *shudders*

    Can’t we see Kelley wearing that oh so fashionable ensemble? *dodges the flying stiletto*

  2. ROFL !!!!!

    This morning I was considering a gingham type shirt after watching these ‘alternative’ family on Wife Swap. They wear alot of pink or red.

    As for the crocs, I saw gardening ones at the local garden centre. It’s a conspiracy !!!!

  3. *snicker*

    I must admit that I DO actually have a soft spot for the old flannie. Left over from the early nineties and a romance with a northshore Sydney boy who wanted to be a Westie… 😀

    (but the fluffy crocs are just SCARY)

  4. I’ve got a couple of brightly coloured flannies, in purple and blue, that sort of reduce the bogan yearning within lol.
    My pink crocs protect my tootsies from the possum mafia slugs and chicken poo but they don’t venture beyond the garden gate.
    The fluffy crocs are wrong on so many levels!

  5. Jayne – we demand pics of you dressed in purple/blue flannie and pink crocs! If you want, you can wear other stuff too 😀

  6. Hey don’t knock the flannie. I love my flannies. In fact the year I came out my mother gave me for Christmas two flannies and a toolbox.

  7. Riayn – LOL. Please tell me that the two weren’t connected! (the coming out and the flannies + toolbox) ‘Cos I’ve got this mental pic of a mum sighing and saying to herself, “well, she’s not going to have a man around to do this stuff…”

  8. Posted a pic of the flannie and crcos 😛
    Sorry, it’s blue and green , not blue and purple…but I’m wearing a purple T underneath 😛

  9. Woohoo! I love it when people accede to my unreasonable demands 🙂 Jayne – you rock 🙂

  10. my goodness Naomi – I get busy for a day and return to find you ruling the roost with flair and a flanny! LMAO

  11. Bettina – HA. That’ll learn ya. You KNOW you’re not supposed to leave us unsupervised. We’ll be drawing on the walls and drowning each other next. 😉

  12. Ok since WHEN were there fluffy crocs???!!! Never in the store, I can tell you!

    My work shoes need an upgrade and these will be just the ticket!

  13. Sasch – you need to go shopping more often. They’re everywhere. And they’ll match your work threads beautifully 😉

  14. Well I did always say they’re akin to pyjamas – the fluffy crocs will accessorise the look nicely.

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