I don’t usually indulge in rants. When I do, I try to keep it impersonal and avoid anything even approaching flame-like behaviour.
There’s always a first time, though.
And this first time’s a doozy. Because I am well and truly riled up.
Some people seem to have no idea about the real world and no capacity for putting themselves in other people’s shoes. Usually I can shrug these facts off, because let’s face it, some people are just brought up to be ignorant and self-righteous, and that’s a tough wagon to get off. It makes keeping an alcoholic sober look like a breeze.
Here’s what’s made me angry – Mummifiedx5 says “There’s a name for these women” in reference to the recent uproar about women claiming sexual assault by NRL players. Apparently, that name is Idiot. Well, that’s a little better than the name I suspected her of meaning, I’ll admit. But here are a few of the underlying messages I got from her post, and the comments various people left, that had me wanting to bite people:
- If you allow yourself to get into a dangerous situation – either through inexperience, or too much alcohol, or not watching your drink carefully enough and it being spiked, or bad decision-making – you’re to blame for getting into the situation in the first place, and shouldn’t press charges.
- It is always clear what a bad decision would be, and what might lead to a dangerous situation.
- Any woman who indulges in ‘immoral’ behaviour is clearly up for any other ‘immoral’ behaviour which might be going on, whether she specifically agrees to it or not.
- It is possible to scream for help or say ‘no’ in every situation. There is no possible scenario in which a woman may find herself unable to do so. If she does say no, this will be carefully reported by the press.
- You’ve only been ‘really’ raped if you did absolutely nothing morally wrong, did not drink or take drugs, and did not show any interest whatsoever in the attacker(s).
- ‘Real’ rape is clear-cut. There is always simple, obvious proof lying about. The press will always report such evidence faithfully.
- Women who make accusations of sexual assault where the other party (or parties) are famous, or where the evidence is not clear-cut, make it harder for ‘real’ rape victims to come forward. It’s got nothing to do with the self-righteous arseholes throwing “Slut!” around and blaming the victim. Honest.
Here’s what I’d like to say to anyone who’s simply bad-mouthed these women:
GET THE FACTS FIRST.
Can’t?
Well, that’s exactly it. No-one knows the exact facts, except maybe the people involved.
So, what to do?
How about just suspending judgment?
How about deciding that the last thing that sexual-assault victims need to hear is “you’re lying” and “you brought it on yourself, you idiot, smarten up!” – and that just in case they were telling the truth, you’ll shut up and forego the thrill of the self-righteous bitch-slap?
How about imagining your daughter, or sister, or friend, hearing you trash-talk women claiming to have been sexually assaulted, and then not telling you when it happens to them because they don’t expect any sympathy from you?
How about not acting like an arse?
Filed under: Rants | Tagged: Matty Johns, NRL, rape claims, sexual assault | 11 Comments »