Gnashing of Teeth

Do you ever feel really, really peeved… know it’s unfair to feel peeved… and still wanna wring someone’s neck?

I’m tired, and I’m grouchy (well DUH).

I went to cardiac rehab this morning, and exercised for 40 minutes while Bubba Boy charmed the whole bloody gym full of people. Then I went through an exit interview, in which we determined that I’m just as flabby and actually more depressed than when I started. Great. Once we left, he turned into Blubba Boy. Sigh. Finally, people stopped giving me “Errr, your baby’s CRYING!” looks because he fell asleep. Hallelujah. I went home. I set up an arty project for Bubba Boy which involved thickened beetroot juice, newspaper and fingerpainting. Pink goop everywhere. It was fun. After the bath, Bubba Boy got grouchy. Wouldn’t eat. Wouldn’t watch TV. Wouldn’t sit on my lap. Wouldn’t sit on the floor. Wouldn’t do anything. Playing with him just caused him to yell at me. Right. Fine. Bed. He shut up and went to sleep.

Hubby called. He’s finished his doctor’s appointment and has gone into the city to shop. BLOODY HELL. He just had 2 bloody days away from Bubba Boy, no work, just one TAFE orientation thing. Organised by me so that he’d get a break. I’ve just had the day from hell. AND HE WENT SHOPPING. Why couldn’t he come home and let me go shopping, dammit?

Like I said, I know I’m being unfair. He works hard, and the last few months have been rough on him. But I’m bloody exhausted. I stayed home from work yesterday because I was SICK, not to get some time off. If I’m not working, I’m looking after Bubba Boy or helping look after Bubba Boy. All I do with any day off that I get is sleep, dammit. And right this instant, it’s all getting to me something chronic. Knowing that I’ll wake up tomorrow and wonder what on earth I was whingeing about doesn’t help. Because right this instant, life really sucks, and my husband’s having baby-free fun, and I’m not.

Growl.

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Dumb Dumb Dumb

I’m trying desperately to psych myself up for Cardiac Rehab this morning. It’s not working. I feel like shit. Have for weeks. I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep, but I already did that yesterday.

I hate the fact that I’m not coping as well as (wait for the stupid comment) I should be. I should be bouncing around full of energy, cleaning the house, looking after Bubba Boy, contacting Bigger Boy regularly, working hard on my fiction, my blogs and OH YEAH my job. And of course I should be exercising daily and loving it. And starting a TAFE course just for fun, and acing it.

Geez, any wonder I’m feeling like a failure when I put that sort of pressure on myself?

Sigh

I think maybe I’m gonna need to ditch part of my plan for the day.

I was going to go out at lunchtime and take some photos. Unfortunately, ‘outside’ currently looks something like this:

Oh well. Lunch calls.

Applause for Gender Inclusion

What this world needs is less prejudice!

And in that spirit, I think this blog deserves a round of applause… for making their Guess The Boobs competition gender-inclusive (ie, men can enter their boobs too).

It’s AWAKE!

Wow.

I think I’m actually awake. Although I could be dreaming. It’d explain a lot. Like this feeling of well-being, and the fact that my emergency soymilk didn’t separate in my coffee. And the fact that I found my emergency soymilk. And got a chance to drink my coffee. And… the fact that I’m showered and dressed and AWAKE, by gum, at 10am.

Maybe I died and went to heaven.

But are there really gonna be pooey nappies in heaven? Cos that seems a little unfair.

I’ve been sick and feeling like crud for about a week. Bubba Boy had his six month immunisations last week, and has been off-colour and whingeing like you wouldn’t believe ever since. Eurghhhhhh.

Everyone’s turned a corner today, though. I’m feeling awake, like I keep saying, and Bubba Boy is sleeping. When he’s not sleeping, he’s playing, crawling or watching TV like a pro couch potato. Wooohooo! Now let’s see if this’ll last long enough to get me to work tomorrow…

I Love a Good Competition…

… and this is one of the easiest to enter that I’ve ever come across.

It’s Lightening’s Australia Day Giveaway.  <– And that’s how easy it is to enter.

I really, really want the bandanna. I love bandannas. And all I have are Cancer Council ones.

What to Feed a Gluten- and Dairy-Intolerant Vegetarian Baby

  • Lentil and carrot curry (spices toned down, and coconut milk added for easier digestion)
  • Miso soup (weak, because it contains a fair amount of salt)
  • Half an apricot

That’s Bubba Boy’s dinner tonight 🙂

Just wait – he threw most of the apricot at the cat. Oh well, you get the idea.